If patterns of thoughts create grooves in the brain, then I imagine that an MRI would reveal a Baxter shaped indentation of worn neuronal patterns in mine. Open door coming home: where is Baxter? Mealtime: put out two bowls. While working: stroke Baxter gently with toes. Getting up from desk: check to see where Baxter is so I don't step on him. At least once per hour: big Spaniel hug just to make sure he knows he's loved/just to make sure I know I'm loved. Each time now that I think that thing or do that thing according to the usual synaptic groove, there is a little shock when I remember that I can't anymore. I imagine the shocks will inevitably condition me to stop having these impulses and thus I will gradually no longer need them, as I internalize his absence. Not sure if I want that to happen or not. In some sense, since he's not with me in his big ol fluffy goofy body, I at least like the fact that he is so deeply imprinted on my mind.