Monday, July 17, 2006

First of all, whoever called these the "dog days" of summer was not wearing a permanent velvet bodysuit. Or perhaps was a cat.

Secondly, I'm on the verge of a big breakthrough here. I haven't quite figured it all out, but here is what I've observed thus far:

1. My mom has these big contraptions in the room which make a sort of low humming noise. I have no idea what they are there for, but there are more of them lately.

2. (Now you are not immediately going to see the connection here, but bear with me.) Lately I'll be in the room, NOT sweating my ass off (a major prototype design flaw), when this lovely breeze will float over me. My ears go back, my eyes squint, and my mind turns to pleasant memories of puppyhood and Frosty Paws. Sometimes I will feel this breeze on a regular basis, like once every 4 seconds. Very comfortable, makes you forget it's 100 degrees in the shade out there ("so get out of the shade!" to quote Roy Blount Jr on this week's Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me). And I figure, why settle for 99% comfort when bliss is a possibility, so I head over for a Dale massage or a bigger pile of laundry or maybe a snack...and the breeze ends.

So anyway, the insight I'm on the point of having here is that: these two phenomena may be connected. There is some sort of Matrix-like synergy that they don't want us to know about here. Call me crazy, call me a conspiracy nut...but my instincts tell me I'm on to something. These are the same instincts that found the mostly uneaten hamburger hidden behind the bushes in the park this morning, so I'm going with them.

Further updates as I continue to ponder. Would welcome any thoughts and insights.

6 comments:

Blue said...

It's always useful to have some sort of direct contact with the object of your intuition. Try sticking your tail into one of those humming things and let me know what happens.

Sancha said...

Nice idea, but I have no control whatsoever over my tail.

Blue said...

What cat? Are you calling me a cat? On the Internet, no one knows you're a cat.

Sancha said...

Hey blue, who called you a cat? Actually, I would assume a cat would know that the tail has a mind of its own. Also, no cat would be stupid enough to post (with a cat picture no less) on a dog site.

PS - I am going to write my buddy Blue the cat and let him know someone has stolen his identity and is using it to make snide comments on canine blogs.

Blue said...

Sancha, huh. I'll be that's not your real name. Let me see your picture. At least I have the guts to show mine. Until then, I refuse to believe that you're a dog--not that I'm scared of dogs or anything like that.

Sancha said...

"Blue" I'm not even going to waste the time to defend my dogginess, especially since I have now blown your cover and linked your picture to one "russ.abbott@blogspot.com" in which you confess to being a prefessor of computer science at a CA university. Which, unless the UC system has really gone down the toilet, precludes you from being a cat. Please be advised that I plan to alert the real Blue (who, incidentally, is much into arts and literature) of this immediately.