Thursday, November 09, 2006

I have called 311 about this various times, but every time I mention that I am a dog they accuse me of prank calling and hang up, so hopefully a web posting will have more of an effect.

According to some study released after some anniversary of 311 (for you non New Yorkers, that's the hotling for non-emergency questions and complaints), the number one reason for calls was noise complaints. In order of annoyance: the Mister Softee truck, car alarms, and barking dogs. About that last one--if I called and complained every time my human yakked on and on with nothing of interest to say, I would burn a hole in the phone wire. But that's not what I'm going after here. My problem isn't with what is on the list, but with what isn't.

Car alarms and the Mister Softee jingle are annoying (although if the Mister Softee jingle increases sales at all, this increases the quantity of dropped/melted ice cream, and is thus, from my point of view, totally worthwhile). Annoying.

The NYPD and NYFD, on the other hand, have chosen a frequency for their emergency vehicles which must have been scientifically designed to hit the most painful frequency in the dog's hearing spectrum. Last I checked, dogs were not the main obstacles keeping rescue vehicles from their calls. So yes, I realize that they need to make their presence known, but why why why must it be at a pitch which launches me--who is not trying to enter an intersection in front of them, or double-park next to them, but is peacefully napping in my apartment--into howling, squeaking, trembling agony? 311 probably wouldn't get so many complaints about dog howling if 911 could drop their own howling a few octaves.

Sheesh, humans. They think they're the only people around here.

No comments: