Friday, November 10, 2006

The trouble with politics is that the people who want to go into it--people who are attracted to power, who can fundraise and make speeches and meet with 20 groups in one day and promise all of them something--are exactly the people who you don't want running anything. I.e, the meek may inherit the earth, but then they will give it back because they don't really want to run it. This is true among humans, but even more so among dogs--I mean, one of the best features of dogs is that they have no need or instinct to muck around with "government" and "politics." Life is too beautiful and simple and short for all that, in our opinion. But the problem is that humans--and not the best sector of the species--get to make the rules for all of us. And since they don't even depend on our votes, they don't make the slightest pretense of serving our interests.

So I'm thinking of running for city council. I've read the charters, and I don't see any species requirements. I'm canvassing with the local dogs, getting a feel for our issues. What I talked about in yesterday's post will be a top priority--recalibrating the emergency vehicle sirens to a more canine-friendly register.

Platform #2: what is this with the Daylight Savings Time? Who are there more of in New York City: farmers or dogs? What NY needs is Dogpark Savings Time. I propose that instead of imposing some arbitrary clock time, we declare that sundown is 7pm. Every day. The way it is now, by the time I am allowed off leash at the dog park, it is pitch black and I can't see anything. I get all anxious, I start barking at random shadows which either turn out to be people, who get offended, or, as happened today and was quite embarrassing, on further examination turn out to be large and not even particularly menacing plants.

Without a doubt, our top issue will be freedom to ride on the subway without being stuffed into suffocating, claustrophobic, humiliating bags. I am already planning an ad showing parents forced to stuff their children into Gucci purses, and to leave all of their larger children at home. (I personally would like all men over 5'10'' to have to stay out of public spaces and modes of transport. They are scary!)

Okay, I confess that there was some divisiveness among the electorate about a possible outlawing of squirrels, and I did make some promises I might not be able to keep...

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